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Comments on 'Railplay, Pt 1'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a critical comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Holly H.Ah, the plot thickens! :D I was pleased to see Bai putting some things together by the end, because I was already thinking earlier that the conspirators were over-playing their hands with the adjacent seats, and then came the perfume! Even before hearing how rare it was supposed to be (or how annoyed Olarali would be to have duplicates in the city), my immediate thought was whether the bad guys are doing a poor job of assigning gestures to Yeff that, even with the increased salary he must have as a railcar driver, ought to be beyond his reach? Not that I have a comprehensive understanding of those kinds of economics, but he’s just struck me so far as someone who, even with the promotion, is not on the social and therefore wealth level of Bai, or Ressa. And yes, it’s entirely possible to dismiss it as a smitten man over-spending when he shouldn’t, but still… It’s not just that he’s making expensive gestures, it’s that he’s making rather *exclusive* ones, and that may come back to bite them in the ass. (Though, I’m worried about that idea of them trying, on purpose, to portray him as over-spending, perhaps as a strategy for something to happen to him down the line.)
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