Torn World; Comments on 'Out of Steam, Part 2'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a critical comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Holly H.

Ha ha ha! "Dreaming"! Well, I mean, it's a reasonable guess, especially if he's feeling very languid. :D I'm very interested to see what happens with the whole language barrier thing. ...Adding onto this now that the whole story is there! I really liked all of the attempts to use hand gestures to communicate, as well as the gathering hints that they each recognize parts of each other’s languages. (Which are the same language, really, right? Only drifted a bit.) (Although that now makes me wonder whether they have truly foreign languages within the Empire or not; will have to look into that!) I also really liked Malaamig wondering at the end whether these people could be truly “magical” in nature, or at least, very very different from what you’d expect from “people”. (He did put it in terms of legends -- which is noteworthy given how he’s about to encounter unicorns, which are also “legendary”, but real -- but it makes me wonder whether there are any human populations out there so strange, for want of a better term, that they would seem to have stepped out of legend; or if he’s truly only thinking about beings from stories.)

PeggyB

You do a great job in making Malaamig a very likeable character. The first contact was nice to watch. For once no instant mistrust and sheading weapons as it is usually showed in first contacts.

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